Monday, September 26, 2011

SHINee fan/stan analysis


danger level /*****

I am right about everything, therefore this is all fact and completely irrefutable.

Minho stans are usually quiet and extremely sensitive to others saying something about how useless and irrelevant Minho’s presence in SHINee is. However, their sensitivity is rarely shown through aggression but rather through passive aggressive smilies (eg. ~_~ and >_>). They enjoy reading, riding bikes, and the far back left corner of classrooms. They’re ‘those’ people- the ones you keep forgetting to invite to parties but you still consider them a close friend. Forgettable, homely, plain. You get it. Danger level: **/*****

Key stans are the hipster artsy annoying bitches on social networking sites that have like 4,000 different profiles and won’t stfu about anything. They’re into fashion, MUCH LIKE THEIR UNNIR!1 They have ‘opinions’ and they talk about how Key is super-diva-cool and a gender-chameleon and consider him to be a fucking martyr because he said he likes to tell the truth once on some show. These stans usually dress like 2NE1 members after snorting 5 lines of ecstasy. They’re usually ‘bisexual’ and like to ‘experiment’. They stay away from society’s norms because Lady Gaga told them so in her song. They are in denial about the fact that Key could actually really like penis in his face/ass. Danger level: ***/*****

Taemin stans are the otakus of kpop fandom. They’re the pimply chicks that reblog photos with really sexual terms they probably don’t have the slightest clue about. All Taemin stans are virgins, sorry. They talk about how they want Taemin to eat then secretly wish he stays young and skinny and sickly forever. They’re into creepy voodoo anime shit that makes you go ‘bro, wtf, stop it’, and their most popular tags are #COMETONOONA #*_____________* and #TAEMINNIE. They don’t have a lot of friends irl, but if they do they’re all exactly like them. A giant pack of wtf, sparkles, and hormones. They are in denial about the fact that he’s an old fucking man now, so they stan him like he’s 12 and still has his falcon nose. Danger level: ****/*****

Jonghyun stans are the sanest of the SHINee stans. They stuck around while their oppar fucked some Korean model because ‘who cares, as long as I can see his glistening triceps on stage’. They’re probably sexually active and generally consider themselves to be stanning the ‘most attractive member’ of SHINee, and if they tell you otherwise they are lying. They have a lot of pent up sexuality, but since they’re probably the only type of SHINee fans that aren’t virgins, they are able to release this energy in a calm and efficient way. They are in denial about how short he really is/how he now has the pitch of a 13 year old boy with a beartrap on his penis. Danger level: */*****

Onew fans are the most psychotic of all SHINee fans. They will tell you they aren’t, but don’t fucking believe them because they are ALL fucking INSANE. These fans are convinced they actually /understand/ their oppar, and /feel/ his pain/happiness. They are in extreme denial over the fact that Onew is actually considered ‘ugly’ by the majority of people on this earth. They reblog photos of him looking ‘cute’ and ‘innocent’ but they secretly follow blogs about his penis and have wet dreams about his sweaty tits. They will write huge essays about Onew topics no one else actually gives a shit about (like this analysis), and generally spend the most money on Onew/SHINee merchandise. They probably have a fucking Onew shrine in their closets and sacrifice dogs and shit to it. They’re the kind of people that end up getting involved in occult sacrificial freemason groups (moreso than Taemin stans). They look really normal, their most popular form: asian girl with glasses. They’re fine until you mention something negative about Onew and then they start sweating like pedophiles in a preschool. Stay away from all Onew stans. Danger level: **************/*****

source; http://the9th.tumblr.com/post/10678560657/shinee-fan-stan-analysis-danger-level-i
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oh my this is so true
but...............yeah i never had a wet dream about onew tbh yeah i never think of him /that/ way
but yeah i tend to worry about him a lotttt and i can write huge essays about him orz
but i know jinki is /ugly/ sob he is not ;A; but......ok whatever
crying danger level for jinki is endless ok stay away from me!!!!

as for other members omg why is this so relevant!!!!!! yeahh jjong's fans are the sanest to be honest i rarely see them...................

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